What if sex was a slow, langorous, intimate exchange? What if you could take your time and slowly appreciate every aspect of your lover? Their scent, their taste, their touch, the softness of their skin? And as you are melting deeply into their eyes you completely let go and immerse yourself, for that one brief, fleeting moment in each others energies.
Believe it or not this is exactly what sex is meant to be like. Unfortunately for a lot of us it has become more mundane, another task to cross off the to do list before dropping off to sleep, rather thatn the deep meaningful connection that it used to be.
Lets face it once kids come along and the sunkissed days of our early relationship are behind us sex can become a bit formulaic and humdrum. The bells and whistles have been replaced with short, swift, a connects to b, thank you very much good night, routine.
So how do you bring back the spark? How can you reconnect in a more soulful , loving way while juggling the needs of kids, jobs, and the never ending domesticity of everyday life?
The first step is to remember that you are still a sexy being . Nothing is sexier than a person who feels sexy on the inside. The most powerful decision I ever made was the day I decided that I was a Sex Goddess. When informed my husband he looked at me and said "Of course you are" because he is a very clever man and knew that by reinforcing my belief there would be no stopping me.
So how did I come to that decision? I don't honestly know, it just welled up inside me that how I looked and how I felt did not have to be dictated by anyone but myself. In embracing my Sex Goddessness I also acknowledged my husband as my Sex God.
There is nothing so liberating as deciding to love yourself. Your body is where you live and it will be with you until the day that you die. Look at all the miraculous things your body does for you with out you even having to think about it: breathing, digesting, growing new cells, growing new skin, the list goes on and on.
Once you love yourself everything changes.You eat better. You connect with your body on a different level. You pay attention to your aches and pains and try to figure out what that means. Most importantly you realise that this body that you love, loves you back and gives you the most immense pleasure.
Did you know that the brain views meditation and orgasm as the same experience? Slightly different parts of the brain ligh up during orgasm than do during meditation but for all intents and purposes the brain proceses them the same way. Why? Because in that moment of orgasm the boundaries between you and everything else blur and you become one with the Universe. It is the closest that most of us will come to enlightenment in this lifetime.
Now doesn't that sound like something that you would like to take a bit more time with?
So back to how do we make more of a connection in amongst.... you know....... life?
Step two decide that it is more important than....... ( a) the latest episode of Amrerican Idol or whatever your tv "must watch"programme is (b) folding the laundry ....... or whatever your must do domestic task is ( I am sooooo not a domestic goddess but I totally get the fact that some women are) (c) catching up with facebook, emails etc. In fact just decide that its important full stop. Once you decide then you will make time for it. Simple
Step three (and this is all we've got time for folks) snuggle more. Once the kids are in bed cuddle up on the couch, hold hands, kiss each other.Affection should be built into your every day routine. Send regular texts or phone just to say hi.
Great sex begins outside of the bedroom in small gestures that say "I love you and I was thinking of you "that accumulate over the day.
Be bold decide that you want something more for your sex life. Then ask for it. Embrace your inner sex Goddess.