Psychologist Virgina Satir broke it down for us. She said that we need:
4 hugs a day for survival
8 hugs a day for maintenance and
12 hugs a day for growth.
Think about that for a minute.
Then ask yourself "how many hugs have I given today and how many have been given to me?"
I subscribe to an email from Cheryl Richardson and today's offering was a doozy (you can read it here ). she tells the story of a listener of hers that she happened to meet at a conference and she gave him a hug. He then posted this to her facebook page: “Meeting you yesterday and watching you work was profound. I am
not normally the kind of person who gets emotional upon meeting a public
figure, but as strange as it sounds, seeing you yesterday for the first
time ever, the feeling came over me was the feeling one might feel upon
seeing a beloved, favorite, loving aunt, lol. I don’t believe I’ve been
hugged in 3 years. There were so many wonderful things I could say or reminisce
about this weekend but I guess there are only really two words that will
suffice. THANK YOU! ;-)“
The saddest part is that he hadn't been hugged for three years. 3 YEARS!!
Now I am a very touchy, feely person and I cannot even begin to imagine what that would feel like.
I hug people on a regular basis. Its part of who I am. I will hug you when you arrive at my house and I will hug you when you leave. My husband knows that hugs are like breathing to me so he gives me lots and lots and lots of them.
When we first got together this was not part of who he was and he soon learned that this needed to change. I also got him hugging his daughters, my sons and his family.
His family were not huggy people and again they soon learned that I was. Now his mother and father know that they will get hugged when I arrive and when I leave and they now look forward to it.I know his father actually loves it and looks forward to it and will even ask for it if I have gotten caught up in conversation and not given him one when I arrive.
When this video came out it became a YouTube sensation and has been copied by hundreds of people around the world. Why? Because watching it makes you feel good. It restores your faith in humanity.
Many people refrain from hugging or any other touching because they worry that others will assume they want sex. Women, in particular, shy away from touching their partners because they are concerned that he will take it as an open invitation to sex.
This makes me so sad for two reasons; (1) so what if it does lead to sex? Your husband still thanks you are hot and wants to have sex with you. Congratulations!
(2) you are depriving yourself of an intimate moment "in case" someone gets the wrong idea. If they do get the wrong idea you can always set them straight but in the mean time you have fed your soul with the warmth of anothers touch. Woohoo!
Seriously people lets get out there and hug up a storm.Start with your family. I hugged my sons all through their awkward teenage years and they needed it. they needed to know that I still loved them. I was also showing them that hugging doesn't always lead to sex, that you can be close and intimate with people without expectation of something more. I also told them I loved them EVERY. SINGLE.DAY!!
So, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get out there and start hugging. Your friends. Your kids. Your husband. Your wife. Your parents. Go to it!!