02 03 Caitlin Grace Wellbeing Coach: What's wrong with Miley? 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

What's wrong with Miley?

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It seems like everyone is talking about Miley Cyrus.

Here's just some of the articles I have read today:

Moms who drink and swear  ( seriously love her blogs. Go check it out)


Mamamia

And this http://sexologist.tumblr.com/post/59399069155/a-sexologists-two-cents-on-the-2013-mtv-vmas

The most Googled word this week?

TWERKING! Seriously.  Who comes up with these words?

In my opinion, ( and that's all it is, my opinion) our society has lost the connection between sex, sexuality and sensuality.

Miley may think that she is all grown up and Tweet about how much she loves sex ( and drugs, but that's a whole other blog) but what she is consistently demonstrating is the pseudo "sexy"image we have come to expect from Hollywood. The bump and grind is sexy stripped down ( pardon the pun) to its most basic, it is lap dances and stripper poles and porn and far, far removed from the truly, stripped, down, bare faced intimacy of a truly orgasmic sexual experience.

We have been told over and over that sex sells. And it does. Everything from toothpaste to cars to alcohol. But the trouble is the sex they are using to sell to us is soulless. It reduces women and men to mere body parts; thrusting boobs, pouty lips and hairless  bodies.

We are lured by the superficiality of looks and then obsess over our own body not matching up to those airbrushed ideals. We are lulled into thinking that sex is a heady rush to climax which both partners reach simultaneously with a few thrusts from him and heaving sighs fro her.

None of that is real and leaves us all feeling somewhat dissatisfied, like binging on a packet of biscuits; it seemed like a good idea at the time but didn't quench the hunger you truly had.

And that is the point I am trying to make; Miley is craving attention, lusting for it and will do anything to get it.  In our over sexualized world the one sure fire way to attract attention is to bring out your "sexy".

Madonna did it with her bared breast.

Janet Jackson did it with her nipple slip.

Angelina Jolie did it with her carefully staged, out thrust leg 

So how is a girl supposed to compete with all of that?

By going one stage further and stipping down to her flesh toned underwear and grinding  ( I can't bring myself to use the term twerk) on anything that stands still including a foam finger (?????)

Does this make her look sexy?  Ummmmmm no. Does it make her look like she is on the edge of a mental break down a la Britney? Yup sure does.

But what does it say about our culture that young musical artists are going to further and further extremes?

Well let's just pause for a moment and remember Cher and That outfit and remember how she ended up astride a canon. ( a canon people!) and it's not just her.
Stars are regularly posting "selfies" on Twitter; naked, in their underwear, in bikinis. Whatever takes their fancy.






 The stakes just keep getting higher, the boundaries keep getting pushed ,sex keeps getting cheapened and our bodies along with it.

If sex and bare bodies are everywhere that you look then what is sacred and special any more?
Photo from The Mirror. co.uk

If singers are flashing their arse during a concert then are we no longer seduced by their music?

What is left of seduction? Or sensuality?

When we are letting it all hang out what is left to cherish?


So how about we focus on the music and not the displays of body parts.

How about we calm down, take a step back and decide that baring all on stage is not a display of being comfortable in your sexuality but a desperate cry for "more attention, please".

Lets decide that being sexy, in the words of that great philosopher, Christopher Ashton Kutcher, is about being smart, thoughtful and generous ( Don't know what I'm talking about? Go watch this ).

Sexy is an inside job. It is being confident in who you are and radiating that out from your very being.

When in doubt ask yourself "What would Marilyn do?"

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