Last week I wrote about falling in love with your partner as it has been a bit of a love fest at my house for a while now. And falling in love with your partner is great.
Much of the time we protest that relationships are hard work.
That we have to take the time and consciously put effort into keeping love, passion and sex alive in our relationship.
The truth is relationships with others are easy.
Sure we have days where the sound of our partner's voice is like nails on a blackboard ( for those of you young folk its not a great sound. Google it. I'm sure somewhere there is a Youtube video of someone demonstrating it - pause while I check Yup! Here you go )
But most of the time it only takes a few minutes for us to remember that time he brought us flowers...... he had picked himself.... for you ( yes my honey did that for me recently!) or that text he sent that says"Yr my drm boat" ( another gem from my honey!) and we go all mooshy and squishy inside and sigh and feel waves of love swirl around us like moonbeams on a dark night.
There we are back in love with our dreamboat.
No, what is hard is falling in love with yourself, over and over again.
Forgiving yourself for the stupid things you have said or done.
Loving yourself in spite of the fact that you are 20 pounds overweight and haven't exercised for months.
Loving yourself even when your hair just won't sit right dammit!
Loving yourself when you opened your mouth and something stupid, hurtful and even as you say it you wish you could take it back but you can't.
Loving yourself even when it feels like nothing is going right in your life right now , in fact it's just one giant suckfest and then the car breaks down or the vacuum cleaner packs up when you haven't vacuumed for weeks and you have people coming over in, like, five minutes. ( that happens to you too right?). Or you have just lost your job and have no idea how you are going to get another one.
Loving yourself is something that we all pay lip service too.
Then we fall into the trap of beating ourselves up....... because we ate cake.
Or we put ourselves down for not exercising this week ( month, year!)
Or we lie in bed going over all the stupid things we have done for the past week ( month, year, decade!)
Or we obsess over the kilo ( or two, three, five) we have gained. And then we go on ( yet another) diet and then beat ourselves up for failing at that too.
And so starts the never ending loop of just not being, quite good enough.
We measure ourselves against the latest "it"celebrity/model/pop singer. We look at their skinny bodies in all the magazines and wonder why we can't look like that 24/7. Forgetting that they have (a) a stylist (b) a personal trainer (c) a nanny to look after the kids and (d) a chef to cook for them or at least a nutritionist to help them.
So how do we just STOP the endless diatribe against ourselves and START truly, madly, deeply loving ourselves?
I Love YOU!
Just like in last weeks article.
We start by looking ourselves in the eye as we wash our face, apply our makeup and any other chance we get and say, out loud "I Love you. You are awesome and beautiful and talented and I just wanted you to know how much I love you."
Yup all of that, while making eye contact.
By telling your self how much you love you , you start to reconnect to your own innate wisdom and self belief and you stop looking for outside validation.
I value my.....
Start each day by writing down a minimum of three things that you value about yourself. I do this at the same time as I do my gratitude journal.
This practice helps reaffirm that who you are has inherent value and worth, because you do.
We tend to think that who we are is represented by our bodies but as all the great teachers tell us "You are not your body. You have a body but you are not your body" take a moment to think about that.
Give thanks for all the things that you have present in your life and all the fun stuff that you get to do. Far too many of us move through our day taking it for granted but life is precious and taking a moment to give thanks for your body; your sense of smell, the things you can taste or hear or touch, the fact that you have two functional legs and can run and jump and walk wherever you want to go, these things are a blessing.
Just ask someone who can no longer do those things.
Get up, dress up, show up
I work from home and it would be super easy to never get out of my pj's but guess what? Yup every day I get up, dress up and show up just like I am off to work... because I am.
I wear matching underwear ( if you're a guy you probably don't realize how great this makes us girls feel) and I dress as if I am off to work including jewelery and accessories. I don't necessarily wear make up because that is a some days yes, some days no thing for me but I always make an effort with how I look REGARDLESS of whether I am leaving the house or not.
Because it makes me feel great.
I don't have outfits that I wear om "special "occasions because being alive is a special occasion.
So get up, dress up and show up for your life
I am launching my
LOVE YOUR BODY REVOLUTION program soon.
Sign up for my newsletter for all the details of when it's coming.
In the meantime here's a wee taster of what is coming.