Imagine looking at your bedroom as if you have never seen it before ( or go check it out now, I'll wait). Does it look or feel sexy to you? Or have you turned your bedroom into just another ordinary room in the house?
Waaayy back when I did feng shui for clients I was often amazed at the myriad of things that were in bedrooms that had no right to be in there.
One client in particular was a single male who was longing for some more intimacy and / or a relationship in his life His whole house was anything but a cosy haven to relax in. He had exercise equipment in most rooms, bikes leaning against the wall in the lounge, printers and computers in his bedroom and even a filing cabinet! But the absolute clincher was the picture of the lone wolf above his bed.
So back to your bedroom, what do you have in there that shouldn't be?
Here's a list of things to look out for
(1) pictures of your kids or parents or family in general. This is often a shocker for people but think about it for a minute, this is your most intimate and private space do you really want to invite in those people into that space? There are plenty of other rooms in your house for those pictures to go so ship them out.
(2) anything work related. Again this is your haven of rest, relaxation and intimacy so out it goes.
(3) a television. My husband is always wanting to put one in our room and I keep telling him we would never leave the room if that thing was in there too! Far too many people fall asleep with their television going in the bedroom. Why? Because they lie down and the body knows this room and space is for sleeping so it does just that. Not sexy.
So what should be in there?
We have this in our bedroom.
(1) Pictures of you as a couple. Or any other images that speak of romance and sensuality.
(2) Scented candles. We are very sensory creatures and smell is one of the most important when it comes to all things to do with intimacy. Find a smell that you love and it will become your signature scent for sparking all things sexy. It goes without saying that you both have to like it.
Another thing to do is burn your own special blend of essential oils. Check out Aromantics by Valerie Ann Worwood for some ideas.
(3) Soft lighting.
Now I'm all for leaving the lights on but . let's face it, nobody feels romantic with harsh lighting.
Candles are great ( see 2 above) or you can try a Himalayan salt lamp which is what we have in our room. They give off a beautiful warm light and purify the air at the same time so that's got to be good right?
(4) Needless to say your bed and bedding should be the absolute best you can afford.
We upgraded to a super kingsize bed earlier this year - best decision ever!
I absolutely adore Egyptian cotton sheets as they feel so silky smooth to slip between so we are gradually upgrading all our sheets to these. It has just turned into Spring in NZ so off with the Egyptian cotton flannelette sheets and on with the plain cotton ones -delicious.
It also means all the bedding has been hung out in the sun for a good airing and the pillows have been through the dryer to make them nice and fluffy. This gives us the added bonus of that delicious fresh air smell on all our bedding - love it.
(5) Coconut oil* or other massage oils/lube. I am a great fan of coconut oil and we use it all the time for many, many things not least of which is part of our intimate life.
Sensuality is about engaging all of your senses and there is nothing nicer than stroking your partner all over with some slippery oils. Yum.
(6) A sound system so you can listen to your favorite seduction music .
(7) Nice thick curtains to shut out the world.
We don't have this at our place as we are lucky enough to live on our own little patch of paradise with no near neighbors. Most nights we sleep with the ranch-slider open to feel the fresh air and watch the stars. Heavenly.
So just to recap we have cleared out all the non essentials and added in something for all our senses; sight (pics), sound ( stereo), smell ( candles, essential oils, massage oils), touch ( massage oils, soft, sexy bedding) and taste ( hmm tricky but coconut oils got you covered in more ways than one).
What is the first step you will take to create a more sensual bedroom? Leave me a comment below.
Follow me on Facebook for info on my upcoming "How to be a Sex Goddess" workshop
* Coconut oil will perish latex so use another form of lube if using condoms.