As I settled down in front of my computer to write my second installment of Sex and Money I decided to check in to Facebook ( as you do, or is that just me?) I found two great posts on this very topic ( See I knew there was a good reason I stop by there first)
The first was by one of my favorite people, Danielle LaPorte, if you haven't discovered her yet make sure to take the time to click on the link and check her out. Danielle is interviewing one of her friends, Kate Northrup, who has just written a book called Money: A Love story. The ladies are both open and frank about money and its impact on our psyche and wellbeing.
One of the big issues that comes up in this talk is SHAME, which I mentioned briefly in Part One. Brene Brown gave a great TED talk on shame so check it out. The big take away from the talk is that Shame = "I am not good enough" .
Which brings us back to sex and money.
Because often when it comes to sex we feel like we just don't measure up; we are not sexy enough, not orgasmic enough, our orgasms aren't intense enough, we aren't making him horny enough, our vaginas aren't prety enough and on and on the list goes.
With money the list of why we aren't good enough is also long; we aren't smart enough, we aren't making enough, we aren't clever enough, we aren't good with money and on and on.
The second article I came across was by Kate Northrup in which she talks about how sex and money are linked and how to make both more mind blowing.
Which brings me back to some tips on opening up more:
Breathing is to do with the heart chakra which aids in feeling more love and more expansive in general. It also helps us to feel more energized and open and when it comes to sex the more open youare feeling the better sex you will have.
What tends to happen as we are becoming more and more excited is that we tend to breathe shallowly or tighten up and hold our breath.
Instead of doing that try taking longer, deeper breaths and slowing everything down while focusing on the moment by moment interplay. I promise you it will make everything more intense ( though it does take practise!)
You have to be in a relationship with someone that you truly trust in order to feel safe being vulnerable and the benefit of that is it deepens the trust for both of you. In fact vulnerability and trust go hand in hand.
If you want to take your sex life to greater heights then it is imperative that you are completely honest with your partner. Holding secrets back creates an energy of distrust and closes off closeness
Appreciating what you already have allows you to see the value of everything in your life.
Practice saying "thank you" when someone offers you a compliment and allow the compliment to be fully felt by you. No rushing to offer one in return, no brushing it aside, just a simple "thank you".
(4) What if
Most of us can ""what if" ourselves into a state of anxiety ridden self doubt in a heartbeat but in order to stay open to any and all possibilities try "what if -ing" yourself in a positive direction. What if everything goes right? What if he thinks you are the sexiest person in the world? What if money was flowing to you right now? What if........?
The truth is that we tend to seize up when we get close to our joy. We tighten up in case things don't go right, we pull back at the last minute just in case we get hurt and this leaves us short changed in love, sex and money.
So maybe it's time to try an new approach.
Maybe it's time we tried breathing into our biggest fears and doubts and start embracing all the luscious , juicy sex and money that is flowing our way..... right now!