I do all the cooking and cleaning ( hahahaha, that's a good one! I'm so not a Domestic Goddess!), scratch that I do all the cooking and occasionally clean).
He does all the outdoor, mendy-fixy-blokey-things, looks after the car - oil changes, tyre pressure checks, books it for its warrant of fitness.
He also drops his clothes all over the house ( ok I tend to shed my jewelery, randomly around the place too), stacks dirty dishes on the bench instead of loading them in the empty dishwasher, hangs his towel over the shower not the towel rail and tends to leave things right in front of the door for people to trip over.
We have been together for 21 years and married for 4 ( yup, only four years) and I wanted to take a moment and write him a letter to let him know just how awesome I think he is, after reading articles like this and this.
I still remember the first time I saw you. I was 19 and you would have been 29. We were both married to other people and yet you still made an impression on me, just by being you. We bumped into each other a few times over the intervening years, nothing special. Just life in a small community where everyone knew everyone.
I still remember where I was when I heard you and Rosza had separated and the pang of sadness, for you, that went through me. I had left Brent by then and was embroiled in an affair. Life goes on.
That affair ended. I grieved and again life moved on.
I still remember when Lyn told me you had asked her out and the immense pang of jealousy that went through me although I had no reason to be jealous as I barely knew you. But it hit me like a thunderbolt.
You see I feel like I have been waiting for you my whole life.
I knew when I was 15 what I was looking for; a six foot, blond, surfie so how the hell I ended up with a 5 foot eight biker is beyond me. But that divergence gave me my kids and ultimately led me back to you. You always tell me that you wouldn't have been right for me way back then and you are probably right. But oh how I wish we had started our family instead of trying to blend two together.
It's been a rocky road trying to do just that.
For a long time you had one foot out the door. It was hilarious the other day when you finally admitted that, that was true, as if revealing some well hidden secret when I knew it all along. But for all of that one-footedness you also never gave up on us. Even when I was packing your bags and kicking you out the door. No, that love that you had in your heart wouldn't let you give up and for that I am truly, truly grateful
So I want to let you know some of the things that I absolutely adore about you;
(1) I love the way you listen to me.
It doesn't matter if we are discussing the weather, what car to buy or having some deep, meaningful conversation, you always give me your full attention. I remember the first time I realized that you were fully engaged in what I was saying, eyes locked on mine, and I thought to myself "wow, he's actually interested in what I'm saying". It was a huge revelation., I'd never had any one's attention like that before. It made me feel like what I had to say was worth listening to
(2) I love the way you tell me how beautiful I am.
It started right at the beginning when you used to call out to me in the mornings "Good Morning Gorgeous" and even though we weren't even going out then it made my day. You never miss a day. EVER. Your constant "how's my beautiful wife?", "I love the way this dress shows off your curves" , "Look at your beautiful face" comments, never get old and also make me feel more confident and sexy, every day.
(3) I love the way you thank me every night for cooking your dinner.
I love cooking for you. feeding you healthy, nourishing meals makes my heart sing, even more so because you appreciate it so much.
(4) I love how creative you are.
From your ability to fix any thing, to the way you come up with new ideas for growing our garden to the awesome stories you write for our grand kids to the drawings that go with them, I love your creativity. You truly are an artist and I only wish that you saw yourself that way more too. There is so much more to you than you realise
I miss all the romantic poems you used to write me and the messages you would write on the sheets for me to find after you left but I know that life gets in the way.
(5) I love our long, talky bath sessions.
After all these years we still have so much to talk about and share and discover about each other and that gladdens my heart. I sometimes am amazed at how long we spend in the bath together, even when we struggle to see each other as it gets darker and the water goes cold and we turn all wrinkly and prunish and still we sit and talk.
(6) I love the way you introduce me to people.
It is always "And this is my lovely wife, Caitlin." or "This is my beautiful wife Caitlin." or "Have you met the love of my life, Caitlin". I always feel valued and affirmed
I love you for being completely you. I love your loyalty, your honesty, your integrity, your passion and your sensual nature. I love that we are growing old together and that we are comfortable with our sagging, wrinkly skin, grey hairs and creaky joints. I love the way we reminisce about all the times we met before we met and all the romantic steps that lead us here.
I love you forever. And then just a little bit more.