We need to stopping having a mindful and start being mindful. Big difference.
We all live far too much in our heads. We stress about everything from the bills we have to pay to how many calories are in what we just ate.
Men and women are different in lots of ways and one of the biggest is what we think about while we are in bed together.
Here's what women think men are thinking:
(1) Her boobs/butt/ other body part aren't as great as...... (fill in the blank with some other random hot person)
(2) I wish I was with (fill in the blank random , hot person who is not you)
(3) She is not as sexy as ( random other hot person that is not you)
You get the idea. We tend to think that he is fantasizing about someone else; someone sexier, someone with better body parts, someone who is not us.
Here's what woman are thinking:
(1) I hope he doesn't notice my (insert flawed body part here - butt, boobs, stretch marks, whatever we are most insecure about this week)
(2) Am I being sexy enough?
(3) Does he love me?
We are, generally, so insecure about our bodies that we may (1) leave the lights off (2) stay partially clothed or (3) both of these
Here's what men are really thinking:
(1) I am the luckiest guy in the world to be here with her
(2) She looks so beautiful in this light
(3) Does she love me? I hope she loves me
Now here's the thing we both need to stop assuming that we know what the other is thinking. we both need to drop our guards and be present in this one glorious moment of deep connection and the only way to truly do that is to be completely naked - naked in mind, body and spirit. This is the moment when we have to be our most authentic, raw and beautiful selves.
Because, really, truly none of that other shit matters.